"Dude....why the fuck would I kill myself?  I had a lot to live for at that time.  I was getting off the drugs, the heroin, I was eating well, I was meditating.  I had the most beautiful baby daughter.  I was writing more music for myself and for the first time in a long time, really looking forward to tomorrows, a lot of tomorrows.  Man, this is really fucked up."


~Kurt Cobain  


By J. S. Burke,  August 2022

In early July, I didn't expect what happened while channeling. One night, a client of mine needed for me to do some research about their father when he was alive, and could I go check their Akashic (spiritual record)? With families and friends or organizations I have only ever channeled when a family member had a message, or a client needed help with an issue; or, to get guidance about world issues. My work has been with several organizations worldwide, as well as with people who seek to create healthy, positive change. I've never been diagnosed with anything other than having a big heart, the strong ability to channel, and helping others when a spirit comes through. Usually, I never ask the families or anyone questions. I just tell them what the other side has to say. I'll admit, those closest to me know I love Rock music. I never saw Nirvana live, yet I've had the chance to see other legends. What went on this night was very alarming, upsetting, and not what I figured had gone on. Not only was Kurt passionate about my getting every word right, he trusted that I would be honest about it, and that TRR would do the same. Kurt had seen me care about people. He felt passionate and was intense and angry in our sessions when we spoke. I never expected him to finish this after the first part of it, yet I did hope he would. I wanted to be able to convey whatever he needed. After each session we had, I was exhausted by how upset he was, naturally. My job has always been that of healer, mystic, channeling to help others. I had to reach TRR and let them know that he trusted them to get it right. I knew one Tru Rock Revival staff member for a lifetime, so they gave me the time of day. TRR took a day or two to digest my reaching out, and then they had me show them what I can do (with a deceased family member of one of them). After I had proven myself, they agreed to do it. I was so relieved when TRR understood that I was representing Kurt and cared.  I hope this gives Kurt some peace of mind. All of this has been a lot to wrap my own head around. I know channeling is very controversial and why I have always kept it anonymous when I have given to various charities. Here it is, Kurt's truth, our sessions:


July 5th, 2022, 9:52pm Eastern

JS:  Kurt, it's been 28 years since you moved on into the spiritual realm.  You had so much to live for.  As a Mystic, I understand the Akashic and I've visited your Akashic and there is a hard detour on April 2, 1994.  There seems to be a corruption in your Akashic.  Corruptions only occur when something out of the ordinary intervenes to change your destiny.  Your destiny was re-written and not of your doing.  Or, am I wrong to say this?  Did you take your own life?  

KC:  "Dude....Fuck you!  Why the fuck would I kill myself?  I had a lot to live for at that time.  I was getting off the drugs, the heroin, I was eating well, I was meditating.  I had the most beautiful baby daughter.  (Damn, I miss holding my little Bean).   I was writing more music for myself.  I had plans that I was going to stick to. The music. That's what I wanted to do, write for me.  I wanted to step away from all the insanity.  That's what the letter was about.  It wasn't some fuckin' suicide letter.  Bull fuckin' shit, man.  Man, for the first time in a long time, I was really looking forward to tomorrows, a lot of tomorrows.  Man, this is really fucked up.  And she came and fucked it all up like she always did."

JS:  Courtney?


KC:  We were having issues and I was ready to move on.  I was tired of her crap.  Man, she had a lot of crap to work through but never wanted to work through it.  All she cared about was getting her next high and using me to get her music out.  Man, I was so tired of her shit.  I told her I needed some space, some separation and she just started screaming, got very angry.  Said, "No fuckin; way, dude!! You're not gonna leave me.  She begged to meet up with me, and that's when I got away for a few days, had my publicist get me into a rehab center just to get me the hell away from all her shit.  We told her I was checking into a rehab center to get off the heroin, which was bullshit, but that's the only way I could get some fuckin' space.  So, that's what we did.  

JS:  Yeah, the media was all over that.  They said you escaped from the center by scaling a wall.

KC:  It got to the point where she kept coming by or calling, harassing the staff to no end.  I was there to get away from her and she was relentless.  So, I left.  

JS:  Then what happened?   

JS:  Kurt?  Then what happened?

JS:  Kurt?  This often happens during channeling.  I either lose focus or the spirit leaves.  In this case, Kurt's spirit left.  So, I either wait, continue to channel, or take a break for a while.  I decided to take a break for several days.   

July 12th, 2022  11:17pm Eastern

KC:  I'm here if you would like to continue from where we last spoke.  

JS:  Last we spoke, Courtney kept bothering you while you were at that clinic.  You signed yourself out. 


KC:  I signed out and she was relentless.  Man, she was relentless.  Said she needed to see me now.  "Gotta see you.  I'm coming to see you." So, I told her I'd meet her at the cabin. I got there and I just didn't want her to even be there.  It was bad.  


JS:  Was she there when you got there?


KC:  A little while later.  She came in and was fuckin' insane.  Totally fucked up on God knows what.  I'm sitting across the room smoking a cigarette and just watching the show.  Man, I should have just got up and walked out then.  But, I just sat there watching her.  She was all over the place. When she finally started to slow down, I told her that WE were not working anymore.  I told her I needed a change, not just from here but from the life I'd been living.  I was finally getting clean, but I was tired.  I needed a break from everything, including the band.  So, I told her I was gonna write a note to Dave and Krist, letting them know I loved them, but I needed to take a break from things. Then it got really weird.  I thought she'd try to talk me out of all this.  She didn't.  I mean, she was used to spending a ton of cash on all kinds of shit.  Now, the bank was gonna close or was gonna be smaller.  But, she didn't get all crazy like I thought she would.  She said she'd bring the note to Dave.    

JS:  So then you gave her the note and she left? 

KC:  No. She asked what we were gonna do about us?  I told her I didn't know, but I knew I needed a lot of time and space away from her and from the stage.  She came over, sat next to me and asked for a cigarette.  I handed her the pack and the matches. She then dropped the matches in whatever she was drinking and got up, went to her purse, and got a book of matches.  I guess that's when she put the heroin in a cigarette and handed it to me.  I started to smoke another cigarette and about 10 minutes later I was feeling it. 


JS:  How did you know it was heroin?


KC:  Shit man, I know heroin.  Come on.  She put it in the cigarette, and it must have been a lot because I was gone.  I remember seeing her get up and walk out of the cabin and come back in with the rifle.  


JS:  You saw her with the rifle?


KC:  Yeah.  I kinda mumbled to her, asking what she was doing.  She said she was taking care of herself. She then put the hose on my arm and shot me up, with God knows how much heroin, and finished the note I was writing.  Then, the bitch shot me.  Killed me. Got away with it. Fuck man!  Never got to see Bean grow up.  I'm gone.  I can't....


JS:  Kurt, if you passed out, how did you know she is the one who shot you?


JS:  Kurt?


T:  Kurt, are you there?  (About 20 minutes goes by.  I'm still channeling and Kurt responds)


KC:  Look man, I just want everyone to know I didn't kill myself.  I want Bean, my daughter, to know the truth.  I was getting clean for my daughter, for myself, for my band.  Yeah, I was taking a break from the band, from music, but I would have come back.  I was actually speaking with Michael Stipe.  We were good friends.  We were thinking of doing something together.  That would have been cool.  I loved that guy and his music. 

JS:  Kurt, this is very heavy stuff.  What do you want me to do with this?  Who would publish this? I mean...

KC:  All I want is what I've wanted since this happened.  I want my daughter to know I love her so much and I'm with her every day.  I wish I could have been there for all of her birthdays, for every important time in her life.  I wish I could have been there for her to keep her away from drugs, but she's doing OK now.  I wish her mom would tell the truth for once in her life.  Tell Dave and Krist I love both of them.  

JS:  Kurt, I have one more question.  What if nothing comes of this?  What if no one believes this?

KC:  Man, I've been wanting to talk about this for such a long time.  You gave me some closure.  That's all I ever wanted.